For years, writer Leah Stella Stephens had no interest in dating. Then one day she found herself flirting with a handsome stranger and suddenly realized that she was ready to start putting herself out there again.
“I downloaded the Tinder app without even thinking,” she writes in a blog post. “I spent the next hour swiping mechanically through the reams of men who either repulsed or scared me.”
“Ugh, this is too much work,” she decided. “What a huge amount of effort trying to sift through all the riff-raff. And the feeling of throwing away men at an alarming rate gave me the feeling of living in a throw-away, fragmented society.”
“Then I did a Google search, ‘Tinder for introverts,’” she continues, “and an article about Siren appeared.”
“Siren is definitely the superior dating app,” Stephens concludes. “I’m not really concerned about a man’s physical beauty [but] I’m acutely interested in the quality of a man’s mind.”
We were excited to read Stephens’ feedback not only because it paints Siren in a flattering light, but because it so closely echoes some of our own experiences with online dating. This is not to disparage Tinder—a platform that has attracted over 50 million users is clearly doing something right—but along with most of the popular dating apps out there, Tinder is based on a profile that leads with a photo.
This model might work great for those who are excellent at projecting an image of themselves to the world, but what about the rest of us?
Isn't it about time someone designed a dating app with introverts in mind?
It seems that by taking into consideration what women want from a dating app, Siren has done just that. A recent analysis of our data indicates that nearly 1 in 3 of our members are "shy," initiating none of their first 5 connections (but they do respond with high frequency to first moves from others).
Shyness and introversion are not the same thing, but in practice, they often occur together and even feed off one another. In the world of dating apps, both are underexplored terrain. Shy and/or introverted people tend to be empathetic, sensitive, and often excel in social situations, but they seek deeper levels of connection and find small talk enervating. These qualities that make introverts unique, but traditional dating apps do little to help less outgoing people find partners, let alone each other.
We created our Question of the Day model because we wanted to provide people with icebreakers, allowing our members to reveal their personalities through conversations, naturally and organically. Realizing that not everyone is an outgoing wordsmith, we added the ability to “like” other members’ responses in order to facilitate less active modes of participation. The result is a model that has something to offer introverts and extroverts alike.
Siren is still a work in progress, but we’re definitely proud to be known as the go-to dating app for introverts. If you’ve ever felt too shy or introverted to find the kind of people you’re looking for using the other apps, we hope you’ll give us a try, and let us know what you think.
Introversion and shyness are often read as distance or even coldness, so for our more outgoing members, knowing that these qualities are common in Siren's community can provide helpful cues for navigating online interactions.
Someone has to make the first move, and if that someone is you, the rewards could be closer than you think!